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if you're making video essays about serious real world topics and you're citing tiktoks as evidence i need you to delete your youtube channel right the fuck now 8.11.26 9:05 p.m.
yayyyyy my site actually looks somewhat put together now!! there are still a few tweaks i'd like to make but overall i'm happy with it for now. i'm still not entirely sure how far i want to take the design since i do want to keep it more minimalist but it's hard not to feel inspired by all the super sick websites i see on here :) 8.7.26 9:40 p.m.
i just watched the drama and it was sort of cathartic in that it addressed a lot of my issues with how people view moral transgression and (for lack of a less insufferable word) "thoughtcrime." i have a lot to say but don't really know where to start. i was curious about what other people thought of it so i went on letterboxd and istg it took THREE PAGES of "reviews" to find a single non-one-liner review. i don't hate one-liner reviews and ik that at the end of the day letterboxd was never intended for seasoned film critics and is more for the layman but jesus christ the one-liners are so forced and annoying. not even original either! i saw like five fucking jokes about how this would make a great r/AmITheAsshole post. TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THE FUCKING MOVIE!!!!!! 8.6.26 1:00 a.m.
musicians used to air out their grievances with critics by writing badass songs like kill yr idols and now they just get into slapfights with anthony fantano on twitter and get snarky on their ig story over pitchfork giving them a 6. how bleak 8.1.26 11:59 p.m.
every night before bed i like to stand up and do body rolls to loosen up my spine and then i flail around like those inflatable guys in front of car dealerships 7.27.26 10:43 p.m.
nvm i just managed to finish a book for the first time since may so i feel better (for now at least) 7.26.26 5:04 p.m.
ok now i'm in a bad mood again and i can't bring myself to enjoy anything today. the human mind is a prison 7.26.26 3:25 p.m.
noticed that a lot of my recent posts have been kinda depressing... i had a pretty nice day today actually! i'm close to finishing venus in furs, really enjoying it. i wanna get my hands on the edition that's paired w deleuze's writing on masochism but it's so expensive smh. also been enjoying ten days that shook the world by john reed. went for a walk to the beach and listened to people by silver jews. i do feel god's presence when i hear david berman and stephen malkmus harmonize... it really does feel so good to be alive.... 7.25.26 9:37 p.m.
i wanna try getting hypnotized so bad but i'm scared it's not gonna work bc i think i am naturally predisposed to not have faith in the spiritual/supernatural/unexplainable. i couldn't even believe god was real as a catholic child. i would hear tons of stories of people saying that god spoke to them or that they could feel his love and his presence and i just could not relate to that in the slightest 7.25.26 9:18 p.m.
been having some unexpected physical/mental health problems for the past few weeks so i just don't have much energy do to anything. it's nothing too serious, mostly just inconvenient and it's really thrown off my routine which sucks because i had a lot of projects i wanted to work on this summer. i'm slowly getting back to my old routine thankfully. anyway here's my song of the day 7.15.26 10:52 p.m.
just opened my youtube subscription feed to find that i was somehow subscribed to turning point usa??? charlie kirk hacked my youtube account from beyond the grave lmfaooooo 7.12.26 7:44 p.m.
thinking of making a page dedicated to my favorite songs/concert vids on youtube since i never get to talk about these sorts of things with people irl and it's kind of driving me crazy. i used to get really jealous of my old friends bc they all liked kpop so they got to talk about it all the time together and then whenever i wanted to share something with them they just called me a weirdo or a hipster. it totally didn't make me really frustrated after a while hahahahahahaha!!! i'm doing better now tho. only about a month until i can have an actual social life :)))) 7.12.26 12:05 a.m.
okay i lied when i said i was gonna post my reviews a few days ago sorry... i'll get around to it soon... new fka twigs song is really good tho.... 7.7.26 9:51 p.m.
decided to check out my skyscraper by nirosta steel bc i saw some people talking about it on twitter and i thought the cover looked cool. go for the night might already be one of my favorite songs ever. i gotta get into more lounge/jazz pop... fresh feeling and special weakness are also some beautiful acoustic songs. i'll collect more of my thoughts on this album tomorrow. also watched there will be blood recently so i'll post my full thoughts on it tomorrow as well :) 7.4.26 12:14 a.m.
i think mullets and jorts are some of the worst fashion trends of this decade. i have not seen a single person that pulls off jorts. it's kind of beautiful how no matter what you look like rest assured you will look ridiculous in jorts 7.3.26 9:34 p.m.
i've been having a ton of weirdly erotic dreams lately and on top of that i've been soooooo lazy omfg i need to die 6.28.26 8:32 p.m.
hearing fox news people talk about communism makes me want to blow my brains out. i am counting down the days until i get to move out of this house 6.26.26 7:39 p.m.
i have this book which is just a collection of some of marx and engels' most fundamental writings. today i read an excerpt from the german ideology which ended with this. i love when you can tell an author was pissed off and giggling to themself while writing something. marx would've been a legendary poster if twitter existed in the 19th century
6.22.26 3:11 p.m.
i once had a conversation with one of my professors about sonic youth and he told me about how he went to one of their best shows in 1987 (the one where the hold that tiger bootleg was recorded!!! what!!!!!!) and got to meet thurston and kim... so jealous of that old man smh. here's one of my favorite songs ever :) 6.22.26 12:01 a.m.
this gif of kevin shields gives me cuteness aggression
6.20.26 9:54 p.m.
i wanna write more in-depth blog posts about what i'm reading but unfortunately the slump has returned... i was really excited to read the chinese road to socialism by e.l. wheelwright and bruce mcfarlane until i realized that i'd much rather read a book on the history of chinese socialism than the economics right now... i'm thinking of reading trotsky's history of the russian revolution since i love firsthand accounts. i have so much stuff that i want to read that i end up reading nothing at all hahhahsfhsdhfshg kill me 6.19.26 4:57 p.m.
babe can we cancel dinner plans tonight i need to order a camcorder off uber eats
6.15.26 11:07 p.m.
finally made the switch from google chrome to firefox but now the borders on here are weirdly thick and it's really bothering me. kms. i'll fix it later ig 6.15.26 1:02 a.m.
since the backrooms has been a box office success i think the next and only other 4chan post to be adapted to film should be this one
6.11.26 1:22 a.m.
very anxious lately bc i have texts to respond to and emails to write. it's like my nervous system hasn't updated for the modern world so anything faster than snail mail makes me feel like i'm overdosing on stimulants. and the worst part is that i'm certain if i was born before like 1920 i would not survive. at least i'm honest about that. "oh woe is me i was meant to be born in 1815 writing poetry with the english romantics" quit lying bitch you know you'd miss your doordash and geekbars 6.9.26 12:24 p.m.
egon cholakian escaped from the manuscript of the crying of lot 49 into real life 6.8.26 11:40 p.m.
if you're reading this you need to listen to this album right the fuck now 6.7.26 11:08 p.m.
randomly remembered i have free will and i'm not chained to whatever i'm already reading so the slump has been cured i think. currently reading the atrocity exhibition by j.g. ballard and it's right up my alley (psychosis induced desire for nuclear armageddon, post-war pop culture's influence on the psyche, weird sex and the human body ("The human organism is an atrocity exhibition at which he is an unwilling spectator."), lots of stuff about highways and car crashes, etc etc) 6.7.26 9:33 p.m.
in a reading slump unfortunately. i took a day trip to the city yesterday and caught a very mild cold. took nyquil and as i was falling asleep it still felt like i was in the subway, like when you're standing on the train and you have to plant your feet in a wide stance so you don't fall back from the force. i haven't taken a physics class in four years so i can't remember the term. but it really felt like i was being pulled down into my mattress. i could still hear the da dum da dum... da dum da dum... of the wheels on the tracks. most of the people in my life hate the city and the subway because it's too stressful and fast paced and loud and gross, but i love it. maybe not the grossness (although i probably have a higher tolerance for it than most people), but definitely the fast pace. i'm def gonna write a blog post about my trip since i went to the MoMA and had some interesting interactions throughout the day but i'm gonna save it for tomorrow bc i'm lazy lol 6.2.26 8:37 p.m.
i couldn't sleep last night so i just went over all the phonemes my mouth can make and repeated each one about 50 times. i imagine linguists must do this a lot. really fond of the th sound. more languages should implement it. i also like the standard american r sound. you never notice how weird the tongue placement is until you consciously go errrrrererererrrr a bunch of times. 5.28.26 10:27 p.m.
this is pretty much what my diary reads like
5.25.26 9:05 p.m.