very anxious lately bc i have texts to respond to and emails to write. it's like my nervous system hasn't updated for the modern world so anything faster than snail mail makes me feel like i'm overdosing on stimulants. and the worst part is that i'm certain if i was born before like 1920 i would not survive. at least i'm honest about that. "oh woe is me i was meant to be born in 1815 writing poetry with the english romantics" quit lying bitch you know you'd miss your doordash and geekbars 6.9.26 12:24 p.m.

egon cholakian escaped from the manuscript of the crying of lot 49 into real life 6.8.26 11:40 p.m.

if you're reading this you need to listen to this album right the fuck now 6.7.26 11:08 p.m.

randomly remembered i have free will and i'm not chained to whatever i'm already reading so the slump has been cured i think. currently reading the atrocity exhibition by j.g. ballard and it's right up my alley (psychosis induced desire for nuclear armageddon, post-war pop culture's influence on the psyche, weird sex and the human body ("The human organism is an atrocity exhibition at which he is an unwilling spectator."), lots of stuff about highways and car crashes, etc etc) 6.7.26 9:33 p.m.

in a reading slump unfortunately. i took a day trip to the city yesterday and caught a very mild cold. took nyquil and as i was falling asleep it still felt like i was in the subway, like when you're standing on the train and you have to plant your feet in a wide stance so you don't fall back from the force. i haven't taken a physics class in four years so i can't remember the term. but it really felt like i was being pulled down into my mattress. i could still hear the da dum da dum... da dum da dum... of the wheels on the tracks. most of the people in my life hate the city and the subway because it's too stressful and fast paced and loud and gross, but i love it. maybe not the grossness (although i probably have a higher tolerance for it than most people), but definitely the fast pace. i'm def gonna write a blog post about my trip since i went to the MoMA and had some interesting interactions throughout the day but i'm gonna save it for tomorrow bc i'm lazy lol 6.2.26 8:37 p.m.

i couldn't sleep last night so i just went over all the phonemes my mouth can make and repeated each one about 50 times. i imagine linguists must do this a lot. really fond of the th sound. more languages should implement it. i also like the standard american r sound. you never notice how weird the tongue placement is until you consciously go errrrrererererrrr a bunch of times. 5.28.26 10:27 p.m.

if you try to upload your code that you already wrote in vscodium kyle drake will come to your house and tell you to either kill yourself or re-type all the quotation marks and em dashes in the neocities code editor 5.27.26 10:36 p.m.

this is pretty much what my diary reads like

5.25.26 9:05 p.m.