2026

Venus in Furs, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch Male masochism is fascinating to me, so of course I had to read Venus in Furs at some point in my life. I have zero interest in most of the popular contemporary erotica as I am not attracted to big hulking monster men or mafia bosses. It's really a shame that there isn't as much writing/research on male masochism/female sadism as there is on their more socially acceptable counterparts. Regarding the book itself, it's surprising how contemporary some portions of this read for a book published in 1870. The prose is very focused on sense experience, as expected. Something I find interesting is that the characters in Venus in Furs are full of contradictions. It makes sense, considering the primary theme of the story is the relationship between pain and pleasure, love and cruelty, and how the line between these seemingly contradictory things can become blurred. But in a more mundane sense, Severin and Wanda are constantly confused/confusing each other about what they truly want and who they truly are. Severin describes womankind as demonic, yet frequently proclaims his adoration and devotion for women. Wanda's allure is partially founded in her mystery, the lack of clarity as to what her true intentions are. In one segment, she will say that she loves Severin more than she loves anyone else, in another she will say that she's bored of him and could never marry him. This whole idea of half-truths and uncertainty is best encapsulated by this line: "I felt that all sensuality and lustfulness lies in that which is half-concealed or intentionally disclosed..." Acts of love and affection may mask the true meaning of acts of malice and cruelty. They allow for an inkling of hope while enduring a lover's cruelty that they don't sincerely hate you, that all the pain they inflict is simply a different way of expressing love, or them catering to your fantasies. When Severin is tortured by a man he barely knows, it removes that inkling of hope, that veil of fantasy. While Severin is never truly certain that Wanda truly loves him, there's at least the possibility of her love that keeps him coming back for more. In being tortured by a man, someone Severin has no romantic attraction to, there's no flair nor mystery to pain. It's pain and cruelty in its most plain form.
Imperialism: The Highest Stage of Capitalism, Vladimir Lenin similar to state and revolution, i was picking this up and putting it down for a while. a few days ago i decided to pick it back up again, but this time i would take notes on each chapter so i could actually finish it without being completely lost. it really makes a world of a difference, taking notes on a nonfiction book rather than just reading it and dog-earing pages that seem important.
Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf british lit II course. i now understand why woolf is so revered. (CONTINUE LATER)
Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf british lit II course. i now understand why woolf is so revered. (CONTINUE LATER)
Lord Jim, Joseph Conrad british lit II course. i remember enjoying heart of darkness when we read it for ap lit, and while i don't think i enjoyed this as much as heart of darkness, conrad's prose is great. i really admire his ambition with writing in a frame narrative, it's a fantastic way to explore subjectivity and truth. marlow is a reliable narrator and yet there are so many strange circumstances and conflicting interests between the people he speaks to that get in the way of him understanding the "truth" about jim. what does it mean to truly know somebody? to collect as many testimonials on their personality as possible and average it all out? to have them relay every intimate detail of their memories and feelings? and does that person even know themself? my favorite quote: “It is when we try to grapple with another man’s intimate need that we perceive how incomprehensible, wavering, and misty are the beings that share with us the sight of the stars and the warmth of the sun. It is as if loneliness were a hard and absolute condition of existence; the envelope of flesh and blood on which our eyes are fixed melts before the outstretched hand, and there remains only the capricious, unconsolable, and elusive spirit that no eye can follow, no hand can grasp.”
State and Revolution, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin i was picking this up and putting it down for maybe two months due to school. some days when i was supposed to be reading great expectations i would read a few pages of this instead... very rebellious i know. this was my introduction to lenin and while i already feel like i'm due for a reread, this was really insightful! i got the haymarket books edition which includes a glossary and a reading guide that breaks down the main point of each chapter and provides some necessary historical context (much needed when you go into lenin's work with no idea who the hell karl kautsky is lol).
Great Expectations, Charles Dickens british lit II course. surprisingly funny but i guess i just wasn't in the dickens mood bc it sort of felt like a slog...
Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen reread for british lit II course.